By your own admission, these urges have increased and have led to your acting on them. Clearly, this is not “all in your head” and yes, you should seek help. You did act on your urges and killed an innocent animal. That is a major red flag. Evidently your urges are beyond your control. The obvious concern is that it will happen again or worse that you would hurt a person.
When people have these kinds of urges, they often worsen over time. Whenever you first notice something is wrong, you should seek help. That is exactly what responsible people do. This is especially true when you are at risk of hurting animals or people. Seeking help is the correct course of action.
Therapists can help people who have these types of urges. It will not shock them nor will they judge you. They only want to help. If you don’t seek help, you might act on these urges and be arrested and imprisoned. Losing your freedom is a major price to pay. Depending on the nature of the crime, you could be imprisoned for the rest of your life. In that case, your life would effectively be over. You have a lot to lose by not seeking help.
I have studied criminal behavior extensively. One thing that I have learned from examining many cases of people who have committed heinous acts of violence, is that they often have a sense that something is wrong before acting out violently. They didn’t just “snap.” There was a psychological “buildup” prior to the crime. They knew something was wrong but they chose to do nothing about it. Consider this your prime intervention opportunity. Treatment can prevent you from acting on your urges. I hope you make the right choice to seek help. It is in your best interest to do so. I hope this answers your question. Write again if you have additional questions. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle