If I asked your husband, I’m sure he would say that he is only trying to help. What he doesn’t realize is that help that isn’t asked for is rarely helpful. His “help” has become another source of anxiety for you. Since the primary way you handle anxiety is overeating, his efforts are backfiring. This is your problem and only you can resolve it. The fact is that you have taken charge of yourself and you are making a reasonable effort to manage a long-term problem. Good for you!
The Weight Watchers program is fantastic for helping people change their relationship to food. You are losing at a responsible rate and you’ve added exercise to your life. It’s enough. You will undoubtedly slip up every now and then. Most people do. What’s important is that you get back to the program by the next meal and learn what you can from the difficult moments.
The way out of the fight with your husband is to drop your end of it. There can be no fight if you decline the invitation. The issue has become so toxic between you that it’s going to take time to turn things around. For now, look for support at WW meetings and don’t talk with him about what you’re doing. The results will speak for themselves eventually. If he comments, simply thank him for caring, calmly state that you are handling it, and change the subject. You don’t need to apologize, justify or explain. In return, refrain from commenting on his diet or eating habits. That’s his business. There are plenty of other things to talk about in life besides diet and food. Focus on the positive and find ways to enjoy your husband that don’t involve food. You’ll both feel better.
I wish you well.
This article has been updated from the original version, which was originally published here on January 20, 2008.