So I was essentially a normal person mentally before this incident. I was just struggling with libido, ED, and sexual arousal. For this issue I took a small dose of Bremelanotide (PT-141), which is not an FDA approved drug.
While it seemed to increase libido and sexual arousal with my partner, within 2 hours I got intense anhedonia and emotional numbness that I never had before. This caused TONS of anxiety for me. I went to doctors and they said it would subside and it started going away in the first few days but then the apathy/anhedonia/numbness came back in the middle of a day out of nowhere. I’ve never struggled with this in my life. I’m worried I did damage to my brain. I even ended up with ‘blank mind’ and I can no longer socialize with people and my cognitive function is down. I just get up and go through the motions of the day but a lot of the time I feel like staying in bed.
I’m in therapy and it really has not helped. Tried EMDR and its effects are sort of weak. I do not think I am really suffering from a ‘true’ trauma and something physical has gone wrong but docs aren’t sure what. How can I best restore my emotions and pleasure centers? I’m suicidal due to these symptoms. I try to engage in behaviors but its just not the same as before and feels pointless. I can anticipate pleasure and want to engage but I just don’t get the actual pleasure. Doctors have not even been able to give a diagnosis of what I am suffering from. When I asked if this is depression, they say it isn’t ‘classic’ depression.
Is the only way out trying various antidepressant treatments? I’ve heard some of these numb emotions even more though and my problem is I just can’t life anymore even though I have no reason not to.
What went wrong when I took the melanocortin? As far as I know this is not reported anywhere in clinical trials. This is likely why taking research chemicals is very very bad and probably even worse than taking recreational drugs. I want my life back so badly. (From the USA)