This problem may be growing out of control. In that case, it’s imperative that you seek help. Mental health professionals have dealt with these problems many, many times. They will know how to help you. Counseling and perhaps medication could help to control these urges or eliminate them from your life.
If you feel comfortable asking your parents to assist you in seeking help, that would be ideal. If not, other options involve alerting a trusted faculty member or a guidance counselor at your school. If the urges become overwhelming, call 911 or go to the emergency room. Emergency personnel will know how to help you. They will also protect you from harming yourself or others.
The fact that you are aware of this problem is a good sign. It shows that you are insightful and still have control of your behavior. However, as you noted, it’s getting harder for you to resist and that is why I am recommending treatment. This is a treatable issue but you must be willing to take action. Thank you for your question and stay safe. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle