First, I applaud your courage in being so open and reflective of your own process. Whatever it is that will help — you have already shown the first ingredient in the process of healing and transformation. I am not sure looking to the past will help us as much as understanding what is happening now. To reframe this and to use the survey on character strengths perspective (via character.org) if you haven’t taken this survey I think it would be helpful) you are overusing your strength of appreciation of beauty and excellence. In other words, you have taken a normal element of your character and are using it to the degree that it is causing anxiety. Since you are in the profession and I think it would be helpful, there is a very recent article I can share with you that will show you how the overuse of the character strengths can lead to social anxiety. I encourage you to check this out and see if it makes sense: Positive psychopathology: Social anxiety via character strengths underuse and overuse.
Wishing you patience and peace,
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral