I have been married to my husband for 5 years…and we have 2 kids together. Recently, I discovered that he was on the computer looking up his ex girl friend’s web page. He was engaged to his ex girlfriend for 3 years and then he discovered she was cheating on him and they split up. My husband tried his best to get her back but I guess she did not want to come back and decided it was over. However they both wrote emails to each other, even while my husband and I were dating. Now she is married to some other guy. My husband had saved her web page on his favorites. I had no idea he would do something like this and it has really upset me. I can’t help it but I don’t trust him anymore. He keeps saying he didn’t contact her, but I find that hard to believe. I want to leave him. Do you think that is that the right thing to do??
Please slow down. Finding out that your husband looked up his ex is not enough of a reason to up and leave him. There’s too much at stake to take such drastic action without finding out more about yourself, your husband, and your marriage. Maybe he is being unfaithful to you. Or maybe he just wants to stay in touch with someone who was once important in his life but kept it from you because he knew it would upset you. Either way, some professional help for both of you is in order. Please consider going into couples counseling together to settle the old girlfriend issue once and for all. You do not want to live out your life always feeling like you are competing with her. He doesn’t want to live out his life feeling like your are always on the lookout for disloyalty. You loved each other enough to bring two children into the world. That’s reason enough to put in a few months with a counselor. I wish you well. Dr. Marie
My husband looked up his ex on the web.
This article has been updated from the original version, which was originally published here on January 1, 2008.
Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker
Dr. Marie is licensed as both a psychologist and marriage and family counselor. She specializes in couples and family therapy and parent education. Follow her on Facebook or Twitter.
APA Reference Hartwell-Walker, D. (2019). My husband looked up his ex on the web.. Psych Central.
Retrieved on November 11, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2018/01/01/my-husband-looked-up-his-ex-on-the-web/
Last updated: 20 Jun 2019 Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 20 Jun 2019 Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.