I appreciate you writing in about this as I believe the struggle for independence is a common source of friction — particularly between mothers and daughters. Just like you have trouble understanding your mom’s behavior, she has trouble understanding yours. When things are going okay would be the time to ask her to sit down and talk. It sounds like there is a bit of a pattern where something happens — a fight, and then a lull, then another fight. I think that needs to change.
When things are okay — and no fights or conflicts are present — ask your mom to talk. Plan out what you would like to say ahead of time, and see if she is open to it. Three things seem important. The first is to find times when the relationship has been good and recall those times with your mom. Find a few memories to remind both of you that not everything is a fight. Secondly, you want to know what the two of you could do to improve the relationship. That you notice how much you fight and ask if there can be an opportunity for change. Finally, let your mom know that you would even be willing to go to a counselor (if you are) to work with her on making things better.
You want her to respect you more, and I think the way to do this is through a conversation you have when you are not fighting. If you need some help with this you may want to talk to your high school counselor as he or she might be able to give you some pointers about approaching your mom.
Wishing you patience and peace,
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral