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Is This Normal for a 12-Year-Old?

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From a 12 year old boy in the U.S.: Lately I’ve been having these weird 5 minute emotion break downs where I can feel emotions before going back to being emotionless. I have also been having murderous thoughts about killing people I go to school with and also killing myself because I feel like a friend who’s only there for emotional support,but will be thrown out and replaced. Is it normal to feel like this when your only 12 years old???

Is This Normal for a 12-Year-Old?

Answered by on -


The simple answer is “no”. It’s not usual for someone your age to be in so much distress that his only solution is violence. But your question is about more than that.

Behind those feelings are important problems that you need help to solve. You are feeling insecure in your relationships and you are unsure about how to make and keep friends. That is normal. Most kids in their pre-teen and teen years share those anxieties.

I hope there is someone in your life who you can talk to about how to manage social relationships and especially how to make friendships in which you feel equal. If there isn’t, do consider talking with your school counselor or asking to see a therapist who can help you.

In the meantime, you can also contact the Boys Town hotline. Counselors are there 24/7 to talk to teens about problems. You can use phone or a chatline. Their services are free and confidential. Here’s the website:

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

Is This Normal for a 12-Year-Old?

Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Dr. Marie is licensed as both a psychologist and marriage and family counselor. She specializes in couples and family therapy and parent education. Follow her on Facebook or Twitter.

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2018). Is This Normal for a 12-Year-Old?. Psych Central. Retrieved on April 26, 2019, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych All rights reserved.