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Family Problems and Sudden Spiral of Complete Life

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My family and me has had problems for a long time and we had been okay. Yet suddenly I can’t handle our problems and keep trying to cope certain incorrect ways and my family and best friend are suffering. Yet I can’t help feeling upset with them but they say I’m irrational. I’m unsure? Am I at fault? Looking back, I have acted incorrect but just…. I can’t help it and I’d rather be angry than sad. Yet I love them so it’s hard and they can be loving too at times. I’m confused. (From the USA)

Family Problems and Sudden Spiral of Complete Life

Answered by on -


  You say that you would rather be angry than sad, and this is exactly what is happening. You get to choose how you feel — we aren’t victimized by our emotions — we can manage them and make decisions about how we want to act, react and feel with others. As long as you keep making the decision to stay angry then that is how it will be.

It might be more productive for your relationships and your well-being to let yourself be sad about the way things are, and ask yourself if there is something you could do to make thing better. This kind of thinking is sometimes helped tremendously through therapy. You can find a therapist near you by clicking the “Find Help” tab at the top of the page.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

Family Problems and Sudden Spiral of Complete Life

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). Family Problems and Sudden Spiral of Complete Life. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 23, 2019, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych All rights reserved.