Is My Sibling Sociopathic?
From a teen guy in the Channel Islands: So, I just wondered in your professional opinion if it is either maybe me going crazy or if there may be a chance (obviously I know there’s always a chance), but if there maybe an actual high likelihood my sister may be sociopathic. I think its important to note that I’ve looked at quite a few signs, but haven’t been able to come to a conclusion for years now.
If I explain some of my reasonings; I haven’t seen her in over a year now, to be quite frank, I am afraid of her. I can’t totally remember why/recall why. I think I may have blocked some of those memories out a bit.
None the less I remember her being excessively charming, very popular in school, very strong (physically and as a character) and pretty. And extremely lacking in any real consciousness. I was so afraid of her I didn’t want to share a bedroom with her at night, sometimes I was afraid I might breathe too loud and that might set her off and make her mad. I remember one time when I was snoring in my sleep and I woke up to her putting a pillow on my face blocking my air just to wake me up, and she was the one that acted annoyed.
I remember being afraid of her when she was angry, happy, sad, normal (if that exists with her) or otherwise. She was extremely temperamental and there was just something severely lacking about her inside. She also was EXTREMELY vain and narcissistic, really focused on looks. She was also one of the most hypocritical people I have ever met, every rule she made in a relationship on others was one she would never follow. She would make fun of people saying things people didn’t like or enjoy, often making my mother cry and then say it was “just a joke”.
She’s also studying politics as a degree… and we all know how unsociopathic politicians are (heavy sarcasm). From your opinion, or from what you have heard, and what I have described above, I know I am only presenting the maybe more negative sides to her, but does this sound like someone who could be sociopathic?
A: I don’t have enough information to know if your sister is sociopathic. I do know that regardless of whatever label you put on it, you have good reason to be afraid of her. Her behavior toward you is more serious than the usual sibling rivalry. People who are as temperamental as you describe her are often using their changing moods to control those around them. Ironically, it is often because they are insecure.
It probably isn’t all that helpful to try to define a diagnosis. If you want a relationship with her, you are old enough now to attempt to have an honest talk with her about the effect of her past behaviors and how to move forward. You will be more successful in such an attempt if you resist the temptation to blame and shame and instead focus on what you want from her now.
If she continues to be volatile and isn’t interested in talking, there isn’t much you can do except to stay away from her as best you can. There is no need for you to put up with abusive behaviors just because she is your sister.
I wish you well.
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2017). Is My Sibling Sociopathic?. Psych Central. Retrieved on January 21, 2018, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2017/12/25/is-my-sibling-sociopathic/