From a 13 year old girl in the U.S.: My Stepdad is crazy. He hasn’t done anything to hurt me physically, but just today he said, and I quote. “I hope you end up weighing 300+ pounds.” This made me think back on so many things, he would sometimes insult me on other matters like how “Ignorant” I am. He is the one to talk, the man smokes and drinks, even though he is completely aware of the consequences, he downs sweets like I down water, and I only ever feel safe when he isn’t around.

Earlier than this event however, he had attempted to choke my mother out. My brother saw, I only heard the argument (which woke me up in the middle of the night, causing my acoustophobia.) During his rampage he had broken my mom’s laptop, our TV, and he had taken our dog and ran away. (He eventually returned the dog and he is still with us, even though I feel unsafe around him due to that incident.)

A: A rampage like that would make anyone feel unsafe. I don’t know if your stepdad is “crazy,” but I do know that his behavior was out of control. I hope you are talking to your mother about what happened and what she is doing about it.

No kid deserves to feel put down and scared in her own home. This family needs support and counseling if it is to be a happy one.

If your mom won’t make it clear to your stepdad that violence and insults won’t be tolerated, she may be as scared as you are. In that case, it may be helpful for you to talk to your school counselor or another trusted adult about how to help your mom.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie