I’m not urgently seeking help but I have a few tendencies that annoy myself that I’d like to know if I should go see someone or not.
My mood shifts a lot and I can get angry/irritated within a second of being extremely happy and some days I’m REALLY REALLY HAPPY AND EXCITED THAT IT FEELS LIKE MY HEARTS ABOUT TO BURST and then really depressed for no reason the next. My thoughts are really clustered and its hard to think about one thing because in my head there are just a billion unrelated thoughts with makes it hard for me to talk to people because sometimes I say things in my head and I don’t mean to, (I end up talking too much and saying things I don’t need to.) and then I’ll get annoyed with myself and even TELL myself to shut up out loud and people get confused because they think I’m talking to them when really I’m just trying to calm my thoughts down. I forget a LOT and I find it difficult to read because I have so much thoughts that it’s hard for me to concentrate and I end up fantasizing. I end up slurring after talking for a bit because I either forget what I’m talking about, thinking of something
else or I can’t be bothered. I talk to myself a lot too.
I don’t like going to parties etc. because I’m really awkward and I don’t know what to do.
I also have homicidal thoughts, (luckily I most likely won’t murder anyone because it’s illegal and I don’t like illegal consequences if I’m caught.) homicide isn’t something I’m eager to do, its just a thought I find interesting. But when I’m angry I really feel like I’m capable of doing it.
I’m too scared to talk about this to someone in real life so this is the reason why I’m here. (From New Zealand)What’s Wrong with Me?
Let’s start with the basics. At 16 having this wide range of emotions and reactions is something that you want to get more information about. I would start with a complete physical. The purpose of this is to take a look at everything from a biological perspective and make sure everything is okay at that level. You need to have this information before you pursue other reasons for your symptoms.
Ask you parents to set up an appointment for you with your GP or pediatrician. That way you can get to the bottom of this. It may be very possible that there is a simple answer to why all of this is happening — and a medical evaluation is a good place to start.