From a 16 year old girl in the U.S.: My step dad told me he liked me then he said he only felt that way because i am his first “daddy’s girl”. He said he liked me as in I want to kiss you, your ass is nice, you are cute. you have nice legs and you know you are sexy right? Then he told me it wasn’t in a sexual way that he just wanted to kiss me. He realized it was only because I was his first “daddy’s girl.”
After finding that out I thought it would be find but then he started talking about how he would give me money if I gave him photos of me naked. The other night/day (because he did it again) that if i was uncontrollably that he and my mom would split up. It doesn’t help that his and my mom’s room are contacted to mine. I didn’t sleep that much last night and I am thinking about running away but I don’t want to.
I’m so, so sorry your are in this situation. It is very scary. I’m very glad you wrote to us here at PsychCentral.
What you should do — immediately — is tell your mom. Your stepdad’s behavior is not normal. It is not appropriate. It is, in fact, dangerous for you. He is behaving as abusers often do — flattering you, saying sexual things to you that he has no business saying to a 16-year-old girl (especially a girl who is in a daughter role) and then threatening you with the suggestion that if you tell it will hurt your mom.
Don’t take on blame if your mom breaks up with this man. It is not your fault that her husband is sexually harassing you. It is his fault. Her first job is to protect you.
If your mom doesn’t kick this guy out immediately, you need to tell your school counselor what’s been going on. If you think it will be hard to talk about, take this letter to show her.
No kid should be afraid in her own home. No kid should have to deal with “grooming” behavior by her stepdad.
Please don’t wait to get an adult involved. You are in a very vulnerable position.
I wish you well. Dr. Marie
My Step Dad Wanted to Kiss Me
Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker
Dr. Marie is licensed as both a psychologist and marriage and family counselor. She specializes in couples and family therapy and parent education. Follow her on Facebook or Twitter.
APA Reference Hartwell-Walker, D. (2018). My Step Dad Wanted to Kiss Me. Psych Central.
Retrieved on November 19, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2017/12/10/my-step-dad-wanted-to-kiss-me/
Last updated: 8 May 2018 (Originally: 10 Dec 2017) Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018 Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.