Hi, I am 33 year old, mother of a 5 year old girl. I am married for 7 years. I was working till my daughter was born. Then I left my job to take care of my daughter. My husband is very good and understanding. I love him so much.

Now coming to my problem. I am becoming too much possessive about my husband.I feel so insecure if he talks to other women. Even if he looks at another woman I feel uneasy. When I am alone those images keep on flashing in my mind. I imagine things like he is enjoying the company of his female colleagues. When I question him ‘why did you look at her’, initially he answered ‘I casually looked’ or ‘I had to look somewhere’ or ‘should I close eyes and walk’ etc. But now I feel he is also tired of my questions. It all started around 1 year back. Before that I just didn’t care where he looked, whom he talked to and all. Now every small thing becomes a problem for me. I fear going out with him. Because I know when we are back I will surely torture him over something.

I want to get rid of this. I am not able to concentrate on anything. I am not able to be happy on anything. I feel suffocating sometimes. I want to be like how I was 1 year back. Can I escape from this problem. Or should I suffer lifelong. Please advise. (From India)

A:  I am glad you are reaching out about this jealousy. I will encourage you to talk to your husband when it is not an issue, and explain that you feel this insecurity with him and need his help. Asking for his help in working together to experiment with a solution puts the two of you on the same page rather than at odds. By engaging him it reestablishes the trust. Bonding and working together to come up with a cooperative plan towards resolution should help. If this plan doesn’t work, I would recommend some brief couple counseling to discuss it with a professional.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral