Thank you for reaching out to me. It is evident that your ex-wife is experiencing very conflicting feelings about your relationship. Research indicates that women are more likely than men to initiate a divorce and/or separation. While there are various reasons cited for this in current literature, it is likely that in the case of your relationship, your ex-wife was dissatisfied for quite some time. You cited some of her various grievances in your email to me so it appears that she has clearly indicated to you sources of her discontent. That being said, your ex-wife needs to make a decision. Since it appears you are attempting to make necessary changes and work through the issues in the relationship, she needs to decide if she is willing to do this. If she is open to the idea, I would recommend attending couples therapy with your ex-wife. Couples therapy can provide tools to address issues such as this and will also provide a means through which your ex-wife can explore her feelings about the relationship and whether or not she is truly ready to call it quits.
I sincerely wish you the best of luck,