About 3 years ago it all started with a full blown panic attack ! At the first time i didn’t know what was happening to me so I drove to the emergency room. They told me that I was ok and it was due to stress.It was hard for me to believe it. I’m a mom of two beautiful little children (2 and 4) and yes I causes stress sometimes but I just could not believe that stress can cause something like that. In a short time I experienced everything from depersonalisation to derealization and even more. At first I thought I might have a brain tumour, or a stroke and I feard that I might have something with the heart. When the docs told me that I was ok, I believed them and my fears went away. But not the dp. This feelings made me think that I could be a danger for my kids and that I could harm them because it felt like I will lose touch with reality. I did a lot of Google research what was probably the worst thing I could do ! My intense fear of becoming schizophrenic was born!
I started to experience hypnagogic hallucinations what made me believe even harder that I will develop psychosis. Then I started to make commanding voices up in my mind just to prove that this are just my thoughts and not voices and just to prove that I won’t act on them (my) voices. It was and still is the hell for me being around my lovely kids because I am so scared that I will out of the blue go crazy and doing something terrible to them.
I read about delusions and I started to obsess about them ! Do I think that people around me are plotting against me? What if I would truly believe that? Yesterday the thought that my husband could try to kill or poising me cause I am a pain in the *** for him just pops in my head and I just began to cry my soul out cause I don’t want to think stuff like that and I definitely don’t want to believe it. But what if I already do? I mean why would I think about it .And although I know my husband would never do it , You can never be 100% sure. So am I delusional now??? Or is it just because I read so much about schizophrenia that my anyxous/ocd mind feets me with that fear ?
I went to a few therapeuts and they told me that I am not schizophrenic but I just can’t believe it! (From England)
I am sorry that you are having these difficult symptoms and reactions.There are many possibilities and I would begin with a thorough physical and an evaluation by a psychiatrist. The physical can rule out and medical causes — and the psychiatrist can do an in-depth evaluation.
The label isn’t as important as the treatment. You are showing a great deal of courage as you navigate these difficulties, and I think the next step is a thorough evaluation both physically and psychologically.
Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.
APA Reference Tomasulo, D. (2018). Schizophrenia? Or Really Just Anxiety and OCD?. Psych Central.
Retrieved on July 18, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2017/12/03/schizophrenia-or-really-just-anxiety-and-ocd/
Last updated: 8 May 2018 Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018 Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.