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Others Think Me Wanting to Be Alone Is Weird

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Just as a background I grew up in a normal household with no issues. In the transition between high school and middle school I started enjoying books, arts, sciences, etc more than my friends. Interests changed. I would also like to point out that Ive never been in a relationship nor have been sexually active.

So here I am at 29; still enjoy the arts, sciences, etc. I do have a small group of friends, which I intend to keep that way. I dont have any social media accounts, but I do play video games and have quite a bit since I was young. I have confided in them about life issues, asking for advice on things and have given the same in return whether in person or over texts/calls. Im a quiet and reserved girl who enjoys observing others. I have turned down requests to go out to bars, concerts, and other activities due to the fact that I just want to have my time.

Well one day one of my friends said it’s unnatural to want to be alone so much. Im not depressed – far from it; I dont feel anxiety when I speak to people or in front of a group and I do engage in discussions if I feel what I have to say adds to the conversation. If I get asked personal questions I get a bit suspicious depending on the context and how long Ive known the person. Im not looking to avoid contact; Im more than happy to just leave it be and let it come to me. I have no trouble going out if it severely peaks my interest or if absolutely necessary to complete a task. I am nothing but satisfied with how my life is going.

With my job I spend hours answering phone calls, emails, instructing users on systems and repairing tech both in person and remotely. Even though I do enjoy the conversations I have with friends I feel more drained at the end of a work shift and would prefer to spend my time and my days off relaxing on my own terms. Is this truly something that I should be concerned about? (From the USA)

Others Think Me Wanting to Be Alone Is Weird

Answered by on -


  I think there are two sides to the answer here. It sounds at once that you are content and happy with your life as it is — and this is exactly one of the points that is made by author Susan Cain in her book: Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking. On the other side of the coin is, perhaps, a lack of intimacy. Not having an intimate relationship at 29 is not typical, and perhaps closer to what your friend was concerned about.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

Others Think Me Wanting to Be Alone Is Weird

Therapists live, online right now, from BetterHelp:

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). Others Think Me Wanting to Be Alone Is Weird. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 25, 2020, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018 (Originally: 24 Nov 2017)
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
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