Thank you so much for writing. We can’t fix everything but I think enough can be fixed so that you will feel better. But you are going to have to start the process. And, by the way, just in case — if you are smoking any weed, stop! It is the great motivation killer of all time.
So, you are going to have to do a few things even if you don’t “feel like it”. Things aren’t going to get better on their own. No one can make it happen for you. So dig deep. Somewhere deep inside you want to get better or you would not have written to us. That’s a great place to start.
The easiest start point is your school work. You don’t have to be motivated. You just have to suck it up and do it. You are clearly a bright guy who thinks deeply. My guess is that at least some subjects would be a piece of cake for you if you bothered to try. Then start volunteering answers in class. Teachers respond to kids who are interested. Other kids do too. The kids who are most likely to end up as friends are those who are interested in subjects you are interested in.
Then join something — anything that interests you. You need to get out of yourself and start doing stuff that helps others. I don’t care if it is a sport, the chess club, or a volunteer or service project. Pick something and just do it. You’ll feel better if you start making a difference of any kind.
Finally — I can’t tell you how disappointed I am that a therapist piled on with your parents about you being a bad kid. You’re not bad. You are discouraged. There’s a huge difference. Talk to the counselor at school to find out if there are any services for teens in your community. In the meantime, you can talk to counselors at the BoysTown Hotline any time. Counselors there are available to talk to teens 24/7.The number is 1-800-448-3000. You can chat online or on the phone. It is free and confidential.
Here’s the most important take away: Life will not get better if you wait around to get motivated. You will start to feel motivated if you start doing things. So start doing. You deserve a better life but only you can make it happen.
I wish you well.