Three years ago I had a huge panic attack but didn’t recognized it as such.I was scared that this is an Heart attack or a stroke. In the hospital the doctors told me that everything is ok and it’s just due to stress.Two days later, the next panic attack followed and I was experiencing depersonalization and derealization. This feeling was so scary and I just felt like I was going absolutely nuts.I was so scared that I will lose control and that I could harm my kids.
I started googling and I read about schizophrenia and I was sure that I was in the early stage of psychosis. A therapist told me that this is GAD and OCD. I was scared about hearing voices because was experiencing hypnagogic hallucinations and that made me even more sure, that it is not just GAD and OCD but my therapist still blamed it on OCD and GAD.
But since a few weeks it’s getting worse and I don’t know what to do. I came home from work and my husband was cooking. The thought “what if he is trying to poison me” just came in my head and I felt anxiety like never before. I was so anxious that I had thoughts like this and I was convinced I was delusional. I started googling I read about schizophrenics that recognized their delusion as false and that scared me even more. I was so anxious around my husband that I had to throw up a couple of times and that just prove my fear of being delusional and because of the fear around my husband, this thoughts felt so real. Thoughts like ” what if he wants to kill me because I am a pain in the a.. for him” just popped up and I broke down crying because I don’t want to be delusional and I don’t want to have schizophrenia and I don’t want to have thoughts like this about my husband.
Can you have paranoid thoughts with OCD or was I right from the beginning that this is the prodromal stage of schizophrenia? Please answer this post, cause I really don’t know what to do anymore. I never felt like this the last 3 years and I feel there is no hope. (From the USA)