I’m so, so, sorry that you have been so treated so terribly. You must be devastated. I’m not sure why you want to work things out with him. Within three months of getting married, he cheated on you. To make matters worse, he says that he’s been flirting since. Contact with his ex isn’t the problem.
A man who is clear about his choice of a partner wouldn’t be tempted. Either he isn’t psychologically divorced or he thinks he made a mistake in marrying you and believes he is doing you a favor by creating a situation where you leave him. Either way, the situation doesn’t look promising. A good marriage can’t be built on lies and distrust. While some people can come back from an affair, it’s much more difficult when it is a newer relationship and there haven’t been years of trust already built.
It’s not clear how long you’ve been with him, so it’s hard to say whether this will pertain to you or not.
You are only 19. As hard as this is, maybe you should take some time apart while you figure out what’s best for you to do.
I wish you well.
This article has been updated from the original version, which was originally published here on November 11, 2006.