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Boyfriend Has an Issue and I Don’t Know What It Is or How to Help

Today my boyfriend told me that he has a mental problem. He said that he just sees people as people, he doesn’t really see the emotions and lives behind them. He said he’s trying to stop but it scares me that he doesn’t see me and think about how he loves and cares for me, he just thinks “that’s my girlfriend.” Also, growing up as a kid he was abused and neglected by a step parent when his own weren’t fit to take care of him. He’s grown up with his grandparents since the age of 6 with no remorse for burying animals as he has buried 7 of his previous dogs and killed numerous rats and bunnies. I’m so scared for him and myself because I just want to understand what could be going on… I want to help him and I just want to know a possible diagnosis. Please help me, I’m desperate. (From the USA)

A:  While I have a high regard for you love and concern, your boyfriend’s problems will need professional help. A history of being abused, killing animals, and no understanding of others feelings is a collection of issues that will need more than your love. I’d recommend that you talk to your parents, school counselor or a therapist about the feelings you have for your boyfriend, and they can help you direct him to local services while providing you with a safe place to talk about your feelings and concerns.

It isn’t possible for me to offer a diagnosis for your boyfriend, but I will confirm your concerns, and having your own counseling is the best place to begin.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

Boyfriend Has an Issue and I Don’t Know What It Is or How to Help

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2017). Boyfriend Has an Issue and I Don’t Know What It Is or How to Help. Psych Central. Retrieved on June 24, 2018, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2017/11/10/boyfriend-has-an-issue-and-i-dont-know-what-it-is-or-how-to-help/


Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 9 Nov 2017
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 9 Nov 2017
Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.