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How Do You Call a Person Who Exaggerates Pain to Blame You?

Hello. My husband exaggerates pain that “I have inflicted” on him.
Let’s say he slightly bumps his toe against my foot under the table. He will start screaming: “oh you broke my toe” or “are you trying to break my toe????” and then he expects me to apologize like if I have committed a crime.
It is extremely frustrating and I want to know if there is some kind of term or diagnosis for such behavior?

Thank you. (From Italy)

A:  The term is emotional abuse. This is little more that a variation on emotional abuse. Speak up. Let him know this isn’t okay, and that he is doing it in a way that is childish and demeaning to you. If he doesn’t make a self-correction, I would ask him to go with you to couples therapy. If he doesn’t choose to go, I’d encourage you to seek individual therapy to get support.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

How Do You Call a Person Who Exaggerates Pain to Blame You?

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2017). How Do You Call a Person Who Exaggerates Pain to Blame You?. Psych Central. Retrieved on June 22, 2018, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2017/11/03/how-do-you-call-a-person-who-exaggerates-pain-to-blame-you/

 

Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 3 Nov 2017
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 3 Nov 2017
Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.