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Why do my parents treat me differently than my siblings?

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Ever since I have been young I have always been treated diffrent to my brothers and sister. And I am not sure why.

From the begining I have always felt different, not only did I get bullied at school,I used to come home and get tormented by my own siblings..they would call me all sorts of names and I never really had anytime with out being bullyed my whole 7years to 15 years period.I used to smash my head against the wall to make them stop.I would cry myself to sleep almost everynight and offten thought about killing myself, my dad always threatened me about locking me up in the nutty ward,which at the time I thought would be more awesome than the life I already had.

One christmas, everyone got brand new bikes execpt me. On My 21st birthday I got nothing,But on the other hand my brothers each got $5000 dollar watches (tags)they are twins.I also graduated from university(which im the only one who has in my family) and got nothing as a congratualtion gift execpt a mug which my mum took then sent back to me smashed when I asked for it back.

My sister used to always tell me that I have awefull hair and breath and from the age of 13 to 18 she has always found some way to make me feel like a loser.

I lived with my sister while her husband went away for six months to keep her comapany and I was pretty much paying all the rent for them.When Her Husband got back she gave me 5 days to get whole family took her side and didnt really listen to anything I had to say about it.

Everything that I tell my mum in privacy she rings everyone and tells them.

I feel that the way my family has treated me is really effecting me in everyday things.I have tried to confront my family on the issues and they blame me and say its you! im the one with the problem. just lately I have no control over my emotions and I just burst into tears about small things.I have no friends and find it really hard to make real friends.

Can you please tell my why I’m treated so different, my partner say;s that I am a great person but why don’t I feel that way.

Why do my parents treat me differently than my siblings?

Answered by on -


You don’t feel like the great person your partner thinks you are because you have been scape-goated all your life by your family. I don’t know why they have treated you so badly. I do know that siblings can only target someone if the parents allow it to happen. It sounds like your parents have been as emotionally abusive as your sibs. That kind of treatment often leaves the scape-goated kid uncertain of his or her own worth and undeserving of love.

There are some families where everyone needs to feel better than someone else in order to feel good enough about themselves. Mysteriously, someone gets elected to be the person at the bottom of the chain. And sometimes, a family has a secret and essentially evicts a family member rather than face whatever it is that they are ashamed of.

If you are feeling strong enough, you might try just asking your parents whether there is something about your birth that makes them dislike you. Sometimes when the truth is finally out, people can remember that it’s never the kid’s fault if he or she was born under some kind of shadow and healing can begin. Of course, it’s possible that your folks will tell you that you don’t know what you’re talking about and you will end up feeling worse.

If that happens, or if you don’t want to chance it, then the thing to do is to look forward instead of back, to take in the love of your partner, and to do the personal work you need to do to build up your self-esteem. Although it’s sad that you didn’t get the family that every kid deserves, their judgment on who you are isn’t the final one. You need to surround yourself with people who accept and value you. If you are too depressed to do this on your own, please consider finding a counselor who can help you extricate yourself from your family’s negativity.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

Why do my parents treat me differently than my siblings?

This article has been updated from the original version, which was originally published here on November 2, 2007.

Therapists live, online right now, from BetterHelp:

Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Dr. Marie is licensed as both a psychologist and marriage and family counselor. She specializes in couples and family therapy and parent education. Follow her on Facebook or Twitter.

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2019). Why do my parents treat me differently than my siblings?. Psych Central. Retrieved on December 4, 2020, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 11 May 2019 (Originally: 2 Nov 2017)
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 11 May 2019
Published on Psych All rights reserved.