The time for you to have had good mothering from your mom has passed. At 18 the work for you is about getting out sooner rather than later. It sounds like your mother’s self absorption is rather entrenched, so stop trying to do things that will prove you wrong — and make you proud of her. Focus your energy on making a path for your own development and stop wasting it on someone who doesn’t have your best interest at heart. Sometime the only way a good relationship has a chance to evolve is by having distance first.
How Do I Live with My Mom?