Your friend was upset because you said something behind her back and you could not empathize. Perhaps that’s because you did not agree with her view of things. She was upset, but that does not mean that her feelings were valid. They may have been, but without more information it’s difficult to judge who had the correct response.
You described not being upset about your grandfather’s death. On the surface, your reaction seems unusual, but it depends upon the nature of your relationship with your grandfather. In addition, if your grandfather was suffering and you were relieved because he was no longer suffering, then your reaction would have been appropriate.
Your views about death matter, too. Many people believe in life after death. They see it as a joyous experience, in which consciousness lives on and life continues. Some believe that their loved one went to a “better place,” a heavenly realm. If those views were part of your belief system, then your not being “bothered” about his death would again make sense.
As you can see, the context of your views matter. I need many more specific details about your life and how you think to determine if you are “emotionless.”
You are the ideal candidate for counseling. A therapist will gather information about your emotional life and reactions, then determine if an adjustment or a correction is necessary. Exploring the nature of relationships and your feelings is precisely what happens in counseling. It could greatly benefit you to examine these situations in the proper context. Counseling will help you to know if there’s a problem and if so, guide you to the solution. Thank you for your question. Please take care.
– Kristina Randle, PhD, LCSW