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Mom Has a Lover

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I find out that my mom have lover. Her lover is my friend’s dad. What should I do?? (From Serbia)

Mom Has a Lover

Answered by on -


  I am imagining from your question that your mom is still married to your dad. If this is the case, tell your mom that you know and that she has to deal with it. Let her know that this isn’t a secret you are willing to hold onto because it will put you in conflict with your father. Give her a timeline to do so. Don’t let her talk you into keeping a secret. It will destroy your relationship with your father once he finds out.

If your mom is no longer married to your dad then this is her business. Who she dates and her choice to keep it a secret from you is entirely up to her. In this situation it is yours to cope with.

Also, my answers may have been different if you were younger, but you list your age as 30 and I am assuming you do not live with your mother. If you were much younger living at home, this situation would require more help from outsiders.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral</a

Mom Has a Lover

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). Mom Has a Lover. Psych Central. Retrieved on May 20, 2019, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
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