I don’t know you and have not interviewed you and thus can’t determine your diagnosis over the internet. It’s always best to be evaluated by an experienced therapist, in person.
Generally speaking, it would appear that there are two problem areas: relationships and emotions. You are suspicious of people and feel a greater than average need to protect yourself against them, going so far as to plot to harm the people who you perceive as having crossed you. It’s not normal to be so suspicious of others and to be plotting your revenge. Your distrust will make it difficult to develop close relationships.
People with ASD often struggle with both relationships and emotions but more information is necessary to determine if your symptoms are indicative of this disorder or not. In either case, these issues will likely hinder your ability to develop close, meaningful relationships. You stated that you have ‘no problem obtaining a relationship’ but how good are those relationships? Your approach to people may have been the result of events that occurred in your childhood or due to your diagnosed depression or anxiety. The origin of these problems should be explored more thoroughly in counseling.
It’s normal and healthy to want to connect with others. When problems prevent you from making these connections, you should try to correct whatever might be wrong. You’ve had contact with therapists in the past and it would benefit you to consult them again. They would be in the best position to answer your question and to assist you in developing more appropriate relationship skills. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle