I am very unhappy with my life and myself. I feel like I don’t know what a normal life is. I am not capable of running my life the way I need to lead a normal life in this society, or of running my life the way I want to. But I don’t know why it is like this which makes it impossible for me to change my situation. I don’t really know who I am. I don’t know what things I am good at. I don’t even know what I want. I feel like I missed some important experiences in life, you need to make. I am extremely overwhelmed with my everyday tasks and my responsibilities. I basically don’t do anything throughout the day anymore because I just don’t have life energy anymore. And it is also unhealthy because I don’t get any exercise. I am a student at a University, but currently I don’t get anything done anymore. I don’t know how to cope with my studies anymore. And doing nothing also leads to losing more and more skills. And I also don’t have any other skills. I spend all my life only with working for school. I didn’t have any activities in my leisure time, or any other responsibilities where I could have developed any other skills. I am disgusted by the way I look. Since I was a teenager, I started to have severe acne in my face. And now, my face is full of acne scars. I also developed a skin picking disorder, which makes me destroy my face even more. I hardly had any friends my whole life. I have been bullied since I was a child, my only friends left me without telling the reason. I have a lot of trouble with my family lately. I wouldn’t even say we’re a family anymore. It is like everyone hates each other. I can’t talk to my parents about my problems because they wouldn’t take it serious or don’t care. I often said I want to end my life in front of my parents. The only thing they answered was that if I did it all the other people would blame my parents for doing something wrong and so my parents would be seen as the bad ones even if they weren’t. I don’t want to kill myself but I deeply wish I could end my life and start all over again. (From Germany)
I want to challenge what you are saying because there is a part of you that has done anything but give up. Look at your email. You took the time to think about it and craft it. This means that you have probably been reading the Ask the Therapist column for a while, and most likely looking at our other resources on the site, like the forums — all in the effort to feel better.
The email you’ve sent didn’t fall from the sky. It reflects and ongoing struggle to feel better, get help, and be more productive. You start all over again with your next thought, not ending your life. Each thought brings us down a path that either leads toward hope or despair, and the first place to influence that choice is when the thought is happening. You did this very thing with your email. You made a conscious decision to write it and send it, which is the beginning process of hope. Why else would you have done this? From all that you have written it would have been easier to just shut down and not bother the write and send it — but you did.
Keep following that impulse and let your next thoughts guide you to seek counseling at the university’s counseling center. You have done the right thing by reaching out here, and I’ll encourage you to continue this by reaching out to the university counsellors.
Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.
APA Reference Tomasulo, D. (2018). I Can’t Carry on Like This Anymore. Psych Central.
Retrieved on May 25, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2017/10/14/i-cant-carry-on-like-this-anymore/
Last updated: 8 May 2018 Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018 Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.