Recently I was browsing the internet and came across a blog/ journal entry of a woman explaining how she came to the realization of her fetishes. In which she described memories of herself as a 5 year old child ‘masturbating’.
Now, the reason I was even in this part of the internet was because I shared the fetishes and turn-ons this woman was describing. And as I read I myself grew aroused at what she had written.
Everything was just about up my ally except for the fact this was all involving a child. And that’s where I broke shortly after completing her blog post.
I felt very ashamed and felt as though I had violated a child when all I had done was read a collection of memories someone willingly shared for all to see.
I know in my heart of hearts that I am not sexually attracted to children. But I cannot shake the feeling that this is the beginning of a path I do not wish to walk. (From the USA)I Feel Like I’ve Done Something Terrible
Thanks for your letter. Two things are important about your reaction. The first is that you are very clear that what turned you on was reading about someone else’s fantasy, and the second that something about this deeply worried and disturbed you. Knowing that there is a line that got crossed in your reading is important because it has awakened you to a personal concern.