From a 16 year old girl in the U.S.: Hi recently I’ve been confused about my sexual orientation.In the past i always knew I was straight and orientation never really bothered me. I had crushes on male selebs and some boys from my school. Girls always seemed to be only friends or enemies.My fav characters always were girls, cause I wanted to be strong or pretty like them.

last spring I had dream about kissing and marrying to a famous actress , I was happy but it was weird dream and I forgot it. Then 3 weeks ago I had dream of having sex with a girl. in dream it felt right and good, but I woke up scared and confused, started checking girls to persuade myself I wasn’t gay. All the happiness went from my life , being lesbian means losing my life goals. when i imagine girl next to me , I can only think about being her friend but idea of kissing girl doesn’t makes me sick. I am obsessed with these thoughts and I need to figure out is it HOCD or am I in denial ?

A: Please relax. I don’t think it is either HOCD (Homosexual Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) or denial. I think it is the natural questioning that is normal and appropriate for a 16-year-old to have. It is normal to think about alternative ways to express your sexuality. It is usual for a teen to be questioning herself. It is normal to think about “what if” I’m this and “what if” I’m that. These thoughts are driven by hormones and by both your age and this point in time in our culture where everything about sexuality is being questioned and talked about. Over the next few years, it will become obvious to you who you want to be with. Let time just take its course.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie