There is nothing scarier than to watch one of our own children make choices that are self-destructive. My heart goes out to you all. The psychiatrist probably won’t talk to you because of the rules of confidentiality. At age 18, your daughter needs to give consent for you to be involved with her treatment. One thing you could consider is making the cell phone, the car, and other priveleges available to her only on the condition that she sign a release so that her doctor can talk to you andon the condition that she participate with you in regular family therapy.
Then find yourself a family therapist who is experienced with teens and make yourself part of the treatment team. Family therapy sessions could provide a safe forum to talk to her about your concerns. A good therapist will help her understand the impact she is having on the entire family and will help you all figure out how to help her manage her illness. If she absolutely refuses to go to therapy, go yourself anyway. You need more support and practical help with this situation than I can adquately provide by letter.
I wish you well.
This article has been updated from the original version, which was originally published here on October 5, 2006.