Being a teenager is difficult, much more so than many people realize. Most teenagers can relate to your experiences. All of the things that you have written about have probably been felt and are being felt by teenagers across the world. They worry about fitting in. They want people to like them. They worry about embarrassing themselves in front of others, and so on.
Your mother seems to be concerned about your wanting to be alone. Her concerns may be valid. The key to knowing if there’s a problem is determining the reason you want to be alone. If it’s because you want to collect your thoughts or read a book or focus on a project, then those are normal and healthy reasons. If it’s driven by nervousness or fear, then that’s a problem. It might suggest that your avoidance of people is due to anxiety. It would be unhealthy to avoid social situations because of fear. Doing so would reinforce your fear and could make your anxiety worse.
It’s normal to want to be alone, sometimes, but not all of the time. It’s expected that you would want to socialize and make friends. You might try talking to your mother about this issue or better yet, consulting the school guidance counselor or a therapist. Therapists specialize in understanding relationships and social interaction. You could greatly benefit from their professional advice and guidance. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle