I do sympathize. This is what an intractable depression looks like. You are doing everything you’ve been asked to do and nothing seems to help. You say you are sick of being you. But it sounds like your family isn’t. They love and support you. To me, that means that there is much more to you than your depression. I’m very glad for their sake and yours that you are resisting the thoughts of suicide.
If your therapist is truly out of ideas, it may be time for the two of you to call in another therapist as a “consultant”. Sometimes new eyes on a situation can make a huge difference.
This is not to be understood as a negative comment on your therapist. He or she may be excellent. But each of us therapists has our own training and has our own unique history of experience with many different people and situations. A new therapist just might have had experience with a former client that would be helpful to you. Ask your therapist to consider inviting a colleague or two to some of your sessions.
I also suggest that you join a forum here at PsychCentral. People from all over the world offer help and support to each other. Click on the “find help” tab on the homepage. Then click on “forums and support groups”.
I wish you well.