From Australia: Thank you for reading this. I find myself with a unique sort of thinking for a long time ( a few years now)which finds ultimate worthlessness in achievements in life and therefore experiencing significant lack of interest in life affairs.
When I was in college getting a good job was such a big goal however after few years of work I am completely bored with my job and currently unemployed as I just could not cope with the boredom and routine at work.
Same with relationships- when in college I had good close friendship and acquaintances, however over time I find everyone just too involved in their own life and the occasional chat, calls are fairly superficial. I got divorced as I could not cope with my wife’s demands. I just feel everything is worthless to strive for. I don’t see a meaning and value in any activity- and the result of this thinking is that I am socially isolated, hardly show enthusiasm in meeting people, doing any task.
Nevertheless, my question is not about seeking help for my state of mind but to seek a rationale behind the activities we do- after-all why to pursue an activity when ultimately it will hold no value once achieved! Also I see a lot of selfishness in activities everyone perform- ultimately everyone is thinking only about themselves and I don’t want to be that way.
I have become a sub-average person and unproductive, feeling that life is worthless (not so much that I am worthless) but at the same time unable to change my thinking pattern and participate enthusiastically in life affairs. I just feel lost and confused on how to deal with life.
I have a history of low self esteem, have been bullied as teen, had poor emotional support from family and have a sort of social anxiety engaging with conversations.