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Made Abuse Story Worse

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I was a neglected child.  No caring parent.  Some physical abuse but treated as nothing.  I was nothing. I was hit, not fed properly, never touched. No I love yous or encouragement In highschool I reached out to say I was abused but it got exaggerated.  I found the only way to be heard was to agree when asked if I was being sexually abused. I was removed by the protective services. I was abused but not this way. I have nobody and not sure if I did this to myself or? Family chooses not to believe or support. So i haven’t had family since leaving 25 years ago  My family was not a good unit with all sibling leaving in their teens to runaway from home. I just feel like a bad person even though I know the place was awful.  It was pure neglect and feeling unloved.  I thought in telling I would get this but it doesn’t work that way.  Nobody loves me
I feel lost and confused.  I feel unsure of who I am.  I did come from an abusive home but nobody had been listening when I only spoke of the yelling and neglect and the hitting. Nobody wanted to help.  They said it was awful but I was alone. I wanted someone to make it stop. I needed someone to care for me.  I wanted a real family.
Am I mentally ill for doing this?  I am very rational and I know it was wrong but in the end it didn’t matter anyways. (From Canada)

Made Abuse Story Worse

Answered by on -

A.

 Abuse is abuse — and you did what you needed to do to get yourself out of there. Sadly, the protective systems have huge gaps and problems, and when you weren’t being listened to you spoke to them in a language that got you away from people who were, indeed, abusive.

I think it would be time to have both individual and group therapy. I know this may sound daunting, but the truth is the family you were born into didn’t have the skills to care for your properly. The cornerstone of group therapy is the correction of the initial family dynamics. I would look for a good therapist in your area that specializes in group therapy. They will be familiar with this process and help you use the group to rebuild your faith in people, and yourself.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

 

Made Abuse Story Worse

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). Made Abuse Story Worse. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 11, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2017/09/07/made-abuse-story-worse/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.