You grew up in an unstable and abusive household. The people who were supposed to protect you, hurt you. The failed you when you were at your most vulnerable. Children are helpless and must rely on their parents to protect them, but not all parents are capable, good or caring. Some were raised by bad parents and some of these will go on to mimic what was done to them. A small minority of parents deliberately hurt their children. Intentional or not, the effects of poor parenting can be lasting. But thankfully, they are correctable.
As an adult, it is your responsibility to correct the damage inflicted by your parents and this is best achieved with counseling. Many people are in therapy because of bad parenting.
It is good that you have already made progress in therapy. The next step is to tackle this issue. Your biggest challenge, however, might be your mindset of shame. It is important to realize that you are not a criminal. Your counselor will not judge you or turn you into the authorities. You have done nothing illegal.
It took courage to write this letter and it will take courage to address your sexuality in counseling but it is the essential next step. It might also help if you read about child abuse and neglect. You’ll learn about its effects on children and more importantly about the ability to heal. With good counseling and a willingness to address painful topics, your prognosis is positive.
You might also discuss, with your therapist, the possibility of consulting a sex therapist. Sexuality is a complicated and poorly understood topic and you could benefit from a specialist in this field. You and your therapist should discuss the best approach for you.
You have already experienced progress in counseling. It is proof that counseling works. It can work for this issue too. Good luck.
Dr. Kristina Randle