It’s impossible to provide a diagnosis over the Internet. Generally speaking, if you are unhappy and believe that something is wrong, you should consult a mental health professional. Your reaction to strong emotions should not involve self-harm. There are better ways to manage strong emotions and these skills can be learned in counseling.
You mentioned that your “unorthodox” sexual interests would “disappoint” your family members but how would they know about them? Unless you tell them they will not know. Sexual interests are not typically discussed with family members. Many people would probably be “disappointed” in the sexual interests of their friends and family members which is why it’s not an openly discussed topic. Sexual interests are private and generally only shared with partners and not with family members.
I understand that you are upset with your parents for being unable to properly address your emotional needs but they are not mental health professionals. You should not expect them to know how to treat emotional problems. Mental health professionals have gained that type of specialized knowledge through rigorous training.
Your first step should be asking your parents for their assistance in consulting a mental health professional. If that does not work then ask the school counselor for their assistance. Those are two good places to start.
In the meantime, try journaling about your strong emotions instead of engaging in self-harm. The goal is to find alternative, healthy outlets for your strong emotions that don’t involve self-harm. You might also try reading self-help books. My favorite books are written by David Burns. Counseling will benefit you immensely. I hope you get the opportunity to try it. Good luck and please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle