I can appreciate how difficult it is to feel the chains of your partner’s past. I recommend first and foremost to consult a family therapist who specializes in blended families. Therapists trained in this modality often had very good experience in helping to untangle the difficulties of past marriages, relationships and children. It will also help to have someone guide you as you develop your relationship together. A general strategy for coping can be put in place, and then you will have a professional to discuss the issues with as you grow together.