I’ve seen my current T for a year and we have managed to build a good and trustworthy relationship. Now he started his summer vacation,I last met him 3 days ago. Our next appt. will be in 6,5 weeks. This is really hard cos we met thrice a week, which I feel isn’t enough.I have no one else to turn to. I am so weak and broken, traumatized and beaten up. No one understands. I’ve seen a psychologist at the psych. outpatient clinic but he just hurt me more.T is everything, and the only thing that helps.
This is so hard. I googled my T’s rare surname the other day.I found his daughter’s Facebook profile, that is 100% public. From her profile I found my T’s FB profile which is very private, and with a nickname.I’ve been stalking his daughter’s (10 years younger than me) profile and found out she is lesbian and dates a transgender male, which really fascinates me. Through FB I found out my T’s parents come from different countries and his father has a bakery and his mother died in 2013.The bakery has a public FB page and there’s my T’s father’s pic.I know my T’s girlfriend/wife is an occupational therapist and they have another daughter too, who is into dance, has no FB. All this I initially found from my T’s daughter’s public FB posts, likes, pic comments etc.I know my T sings in 2 different choirs and travels to competitions too.I found a lot of pics of my T from these competitions. I also discovered the IG acc. of both of the daughters. I’ve searched public posts my T likes by his FB name, and discovered a lot about what he is into. These discoveries and a lot more made me feel much better yet horrible and so jealous cos of her daughters and wife. He must be a perfect father, one I never had.I’m pretty sure they don’t realize that.What worries me is should I tell my T abut these discoveries after holiday? I’m so afraid he will quit our T once he finds out cos I have violated our boundaries and his privacy. But all posts and info I found are public. What do you think? I cannot risk this. T keeps me alive, the only thing I have! (From Stockholm)