This is so very sad. You already have what many of the people who write to me desparately want: a loyal and loving boyfriend who cares about you enough to put up with even this level of insecurity. I wish a little letter from me would settle your anxieties so you could enjoy this special relationship. But I know that you already know that there isn’t a quick fix for this.
This is an issue of low self-esteem and maybe some irrational fears. If you want to be able to be in a healthy relationship, you have some work to do. Ask your doctor for a referral to a good therapist who can help you understand yourself and build up your feelings of self-worth. Both you and your boyfriend deserve better than this.
I wish you well.
This article has been updated from the original version, which was originally published here on August 13, 2006.