I do not have enough information to know what is wrong. Questions that I would ask if you were my client would include the following: How long have you felt this way? Did an event precede these feelings such as a break up, a job change, the loss of a family member or friend, a move, etc.? Having the answers to those questions, along with more personal information about your current life circumstances, would clarify what’s wrong.
You asked “Am I too conservative to make myself overcome difficulties or am I in severe depression?” Inherent in your question is the idea that you should be able to “make yourself” better simply by trying harder. It’s usually not a matter of trying harder but rather an indication that a situation requires skills beyond one’s knowledge.
There is a reluctance by many people in our culture to seek help for depression or anxiety or other emotional issues. Some, incorrectly, believe it is a sign of weakness to seek treatment for these problems, yet they would never attempt to fill their own tooth or believe they are a failure because they can’t remove their own appendix. To those people who dislike asking for help, because they believe that it is a sign of weakness, I say this. “You are wrong and you are suffering needlessly.” The most common mental illnesses, such as anxiety and depression, cause significant misery but are highly responsive to treatment. Study after study has shown that to be true. One should not suffer from treatable problems.
Treatment restores our ability to be happy and to experience the joy of life.
The English government is trying to combat the stigma of psychotherapy. They are also offering free, open-ended talk therapy at local clinics. Now that counseling services are free, people who could not have otherwise afforded treatment are experiencing positive results. If the United States government also offered free psychotherapy, I sincerely believe many more people would begin counseling and that would enrich the lives of many Americans.
This New York Times story about the England experiment featured a 32-year old individual named Oliver with a debilitating anxiety disorder. Cognitive behavior therapy, an evidenced-based treatment, significantly improved his life. He remarked that “for me, honestly, I’m the last person who would try talk therapy… I still can’t believe it worked.”
It worked for Oliver and many others. Contact your primary care physician and ask for a referral for psychotherapy. Good luck.
Dr. Kristina Randle