What Do I Do about Cheating Mother?
From a teen in Mexico: I know this question has been asked a lot, but I still need help. My mother has been calling and texting this Doctor. I noticed because one day I entered her text messages since she asked me to send some picture to a friend. When I did, I saw a conversation with only the phone number that said “HI Love”. I got freaked out but didn’t tell her about it.
We arrived home, and as evidence I took a picture of the chat with my phone. I had seen her talk to him but it was medical issues, he was my grandfather’s doctor before he passed away back in August. But now? She has nothing to do with him.
I tried convincing myself it was a mistake, but I well knew it wasn’t. A week later, his Facebook page appeared on my home screen, like magic. I swear I have not been playing detective, all this things just pop out of nowhere. His phone number was quick to memorize.
So one day I noticed she was texting the number and I began to keep track. Since then, I have seen her text him twice. But today, we were in the car and her phone rang, she picked it up and said it was a wrong number. Her calls appear on the screen our car has. And guess what? It was his number.
I need to know what to do. I mean I am brave enough to confront her, I even printed out all of the evidence I have from her. I think I am being too mean, but then again, I can’t continue watching her cheat on my father. He is such a kind man who wants nothing but my family’s happiness.
Can you please tell me how to approach this situation a bit more calmly? I can’t deal with it no more.
Thank you for the advice.
A: I’m so sorry that you find yourself in this difficult situation. A kid should not have to carry this kind of information. It is affecting your relationship with both of your parents. It is probably causing you a great deal of anxiety.
The best thing to do is to have a talk with your mother. I’m glad that you are feeling brave enough. I do suggest that instead of “confronting” her with anger, you simply tell her what you have noticed and ask her what it all means. Tell her you love her and that these incidents are very confusing and scary for you. Share your concerns about your dad and your family. Ask her what she is going to tell your dad. Then leave it to the two of them (your mom and dad) to work out their relationship. Even if they are having problems with each other, they can still be loving and good parents for you.
I wish you well.
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2017). What Do I Do about Cheating Mother?. Psych Central. Retrieved on February 21, 2018, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2017/08/11/what-do-i-do-about-cheating-mother/