I am currently in my first ever relationship, as I have always struggled with confidence issues and meeting people has been difficult for as long as I can remember. My boyfriend and I have been together for about six months. I am in my early twenties and he is in his mid-thirties, so there is somewhat of an age gap. He is a great partner and is funny, intelligent, and we have lots of similar interests.
The only thing that makes our relationship difficult is the fact that I just can’t handle the fact that he has been married previously (he got divorced about six years ago) and has a young child who he gets to see a couple of times a week. I haven’t met the child yet, but I get really upset when the mother of my partner’s child’s calls or texts him. I understand that communication between the two is crucial as they share a child, but it is extremely hard for me to deal with and I usually end up an emotional mess.
I have talked about my feelings with my partner on several occasions, however, it often leads to arguments, claims that I am behaving irrationally, and me in tears. I would love to be able to accept my partner’s past and it really bothers me that I am potentially ruining what would otherwise be a fantastic relationship.
I am also worried that I have some kind of condition or disorder characterized by occasional bouts of emotional instability. I get upset really easily, often over trivial things, and I worry my partner will get fed up of me because of this.
Any advice on my issue would be greatly appreciated. (From the USA)I’m Depressed Because My Partner Has Been Married Before and Has Children of His Own
I’m Depressed Because My Partner Has Been Married Before and Has Children of His Own
I have a high regard for your desire for self control and emotional regulation. I think that is a great way to move forward. You already know that your reaction does not fit the circumstance, which is a very good start. I would encourage you to get some individual counseling to begin working on your emotional regulation. My guess is that this will help your relationship tremendously.