From a teen in the U.S.: I’m confused on what exactly has been happening to me. I have never been to a professional for a diagnosis, but I think something is definitely wrong and that this not normal.
Most people see me as an anxious person in general. I lose my temper very easily and my emotions seem to always be unstable. I always feel like I’m going to have a nervous breakdown at any minute and it’s like I have no control over myself.
It’s hard for me to enjoy life on any consistent level since I’m often worrisome and unhappy. I don’t like feeling this way, but I’m not sure what to do/how to change. Things are too much work and I feel like no one understands the way I feel (I’ve been feeling like this for a little over a year).
Recently I have been have been trying to avoid this guy who wants to be my boyfriend because I’m scared to commit. He knows that I’m anxious like this, but still wants to be with me. I fear that my constant worry and panic attacks would ruin a relationship and that I would be more of a burden to him. I really do like him, but everything I try (like various meditations, breathing exercises, etc.) to lower my anxiety has failed me which leads me back to square one. I’m also worried to be his girlfriend because he has some diagnosed conditions as well, and I feel like I’m not going to be confident enough to be there for him when he needs me for support.
Other than relationships, this anxiety has been also interfering with my work and school. Whenever I mess up, I mentally beat myself up over it and think I’m not good enough. I’ve had to miss a couple days of school last semester because my panic attacks were so bad. The amount of stress at my job causes me to feel nauseous all the time and just super tired. At my house, I haven’t had a full night’s sleep in months… I just constantly wake up in the night and feel horrible the next day.
I’m terrified that this anxiety will ruin me and my future goals I seek for myself. I really need some advice on what to do and how to manage this.