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Why Do I Have this Cyclic Behavior?

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From the U.S.: When I go to work, I don’t really enjoy it, and tend to go into a protective, (kind of) work mode. I don’t check in with myself much, and can end up feeling quite disconnected from myself.

A few things can happen from this; when I finally get home, I search almost unconsciously for comforts, generally food, and over indulged in these comforts and end up feeling guilty and uncomfortable, or at work I get very wound up in a hyper- play- over and above- let’s have a good time, and I end up neglecting my responsibilities, and feel guilt and feel embarrassed, even though at the end of the day, all things get done.

This is cyclic for me, happening more often than I’d like. I feel unsure of how to stop this behavior and the subsequent rotten feelings that follow and create the right circumstances to start all over again. Any suggestions? Pointers? Glaringly obvious things I’m not noticing? Thank you!

Why Do I Have this Cyclic Behavior?

Answered by on -


I suspect you aren’t facing how much you don’t like your job. Instead of taking action, you are acting out. You are a responsible person, so you do get the work done. But it is at great cost to yourself.

I hope you will take a big step back and get to the root of the problem instead of scolding yourself for the ways you are compensating for your unhappiness. At 32, you have a long work life ahead.

I hope you will figure out what you need to do to make those 8 hours in a work day satisfying. Do you need to leave this job or go for a promotion? Do you need more school? Training? Do you need to even possibly move to move on?

If you can’t face this on your own, do consider seeing a career counselor for some advice and support.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

Why Do I Have this Cyclic Behavior?

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Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Dr. Marie is licensed as both a psychologist and marriage and family counselor. She specializes in couples and family therapy and parent education. Follow her on Facebook or Twitter.

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2018). Why Do I Have this Cyclic Behavior?. Psych Central. Retrieved on August 7, 2020, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018 (Originally: 2 Aug 2017)
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych All rights reserved.