You say you’ve moved on from your last relationship and now you’re dating someone else. That may be true in some respects but you’re still focusing on the old relationship and this may be harmful to your new one.
You’ve become obsessed with the fact that he essentially chose his ex over you. You’re taking it to mean that there is something wrong with you and that his ex was much better than you. The feelings you have about his ex and their relationship may be intertwined with feelings of jealousy and inferiority. As you said his choice makes you feel worthless.
Try not to overreact. I know that it is difficult not to, because you’re feeling hurt. It may be that the two of you were not a good match. It does not mean there’s something wrong with you. In fact, it likely has little to do with you. It’s better to think of it more realistically, that sometimes people simply match better with others.
Looking back at the relationship, can you say that it was fulfilling and loving? It began as a sexual relationship and never seemed to develop into anything more meaningful. If you set your emotions aside you may come to the realization that the relationship wasn’t healthy for you. A better relationship would have been one in which an emotional connection would have developed rather than just a physical one. Women generally want a relationship that is more than physical. They want to connect at an emotional level. They usually want love, not just sex.
In time your strong emotions about your ex will likely subside. I recommend that you shift your focus to your current relationship. Perhaps if you shift your energy into developing your current relationship, something meaningful will flourish and you’ll soon forget about your ex.
This article has been updated from the original version, which was originally published here on August 2, 2009.