I appreciate that you were trying to be helpful. In 20-20 hindsight, it would have been more helpful if you had asked her if she was okay with you talking to her pastor. From her point of view, you went around her to talk to the pastor instead of talking to her about wanting to do so ahead of time. The issue isn’t that you wanted to learn more about her interest. The issue is that you chose a way to do it that left her out of the conversation.
To avoid this kind of misunderstanding in the future, I suggest that you have a serious talk about what she means by “boundaries” in very practical and concrete terms. A discussion about whose point of view is right or wrong will not be useful. It won’t help if you characterize her response as “overreaction”. Focus instead on how you can each respect and support the feelings of the other.
I wish you well.