advertisement
Home » Angry, Confront It, Then Regret Because I’m Afraid of Confrontation

Angry, Confront It, Then Regret Because I’m Afraid of Confrontation

Asked by on with 1 answer:

I’m curious why this happens to me. I get “bullied” or walked-on. Report the problem, then panic because i don’t want to get yelled at.  My recent example –My landlord was ignoring my emails but then answering other tenants or my roommate’s emails. I finally reported the issue to what I thought was the company, but the fear that she may have got the email made me sick because I didn’t want her to yell at me (which she was the one being a bad landlord, i have no reason to feel bad for telling someone). I will admit I am a “people pleaser” I don’t like others to be upset with me, but I do not deserve to be ignored or belittled. But anytime i stand up for myself i panic because most likely that person being mean to me is going to be MORE mean. I hope this makes sense. (From the USA)

Angry, Confront It, Then Regret Because I’m Afraid of Confrontation

Answered by on -

A.

 It does make sense, but it is a simple skill that is missing — nothing more. You need to read a book on assertiveness and take a course in your community. I’ve read dozens of books on assertiveness and found them to be all about the same. Look for one that has good ratings and follow it.

Your community college or local high school will have adult education courses on assertiveness. I would read the book, then sign up for the training. Once you have this skill the “people pleasing” will diminish and be replaced with respectful and honest assertiveness.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

Angry, Confront It, Then Regret Because I’m Afraid of Confrontation

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). Angry, Confront It, Then Regret Because I’m Afraid of Confrontation. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 21, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2017/07/07/angry-confront-it-then-regret-because-im-afraid-of-confrontation/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.