Â First, and most important, I doubt very much that you are stupid. Changing a major doesn’t mean you are unintelligent. In fact, you are average. The majority of today’s college students take 5 – 6 years to finish. According to an article in USA Today: “For a non-flagship public university, only 19% of students graduate on time and even at flagship research public universities, the on-time graduation rate is only 36%. Only 50 of the more than 580 public four-year institutions have graduation rates above 50%.”
As for your relationship with your parents: It’s not enough to label your parents as “abusive”. Once you have a label, you still have a problem. I’m thinking that the real issue might be a clash of cultures. You are acting like an American girl. They want you to behave the way they were taught to behave when they were your age.
Instead of seeing them as abusive, it might be more helpful to see them as frightened. They are scared you will become like young people they see in the news — drug addicted and under the influence of bad people. They are caught between wanting you to be an educated, modern woman and wanting you to be “safe” by being a traditional Middle Eastern woman who obeys her parents and stays close to home. They therefore go back and forth between supporting you and trying to keep you back.
If you approach them with compassion for their confusion instead of with anger, you might be able to negotiate more freedom to make your own choices. If you don’t think they will listen to you, it would be helpful if you could find either an adult friend or a counselor who has a deep understanding of traditional culture and of the challenges experienced by parents like your own. Often parents like yours are more likely to listen to another adult than to their own child when confronted with this problem.Your parents are not alone in their fears. You are not alone in your desire to be more independent than they can easily tolerate.
I wish you well.