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Verbal Abuse

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So I don’t believe that it is ok for him to cuss at me about anything but especially about small stuff like filling in a whole in the garden or not taking out the recycling.  I mean these are just some mild examples of when he goes off on me for no reason.

He also recently decided that he does not want to have children and there is not amount of convincing that I can do to change that. I would 100% have not married him knowing he did not want children and he we are almost 4 years into our marriage and he is telling me this.

I just don’t know what to do. (From the USA)

Verbal Abuse

Answered by on -


If you wouldn’t have married him, then why would you stay with him? I would encourage you to explain that you want to go to a couple’s counselor to talk about your disappointment in his inability to control his verbal abuse and his declaration that he doesn’t want to have children. If he doesn’t want to work on the relationship and your feelings about his behavior and disappointments to you, then you have your answer about how he thinks about your needs. Then it is time for you to reconsider the value of the marriage. The find help tab at the top of the page should help you locate a therapist in your area.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

Verbal Abuse

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). Verbal Abuse. Psych Central. Retrieved on May 24, 2019, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
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